Domestic attempt...

So I decided to embroider dishclothes. Motivations aside, I thought this would be doable because I once embroidered a butterfly during camp when I was 10. I bought the supplies I needed: thread, needle, that hoop thing. Downloaded a pattern, traced it. Read a article on knotting thread. So far so good. 

I start embroidering. Three stitches in, all looks peaceful on the northern front. I turn it over. There's an unaccountable loop of excess about 4 inches long. I carefully tug this way and that for about 10 minutes to no avail, and end up having to cut the thread and pull it all out.

Second attempt. More carefully this time, checking both sides. I get farther, embroider three whole bluebonnet buds. Unfortunately, each stitch brings it farther from the example on my computer. 

Husband comes in, watches me. Shows me how to correctly thread a needle, then walks away again.

My husband knows how to do friggin everything, I swear.

Now I'm remembering that there was good reason that my grandmother, who was a professional tailor, decided that trying to teach me to sew was a lost cause, and passed down her skills to my younger sister instead.

I sew a stem. It's now past 11pm. I put down my hoop thingy and start browsing twitter just in time for husband to walk by.

"So much for that project, huh?"

"I'm just resting. Also I think I was supposed to buy a special marker to trace the pattern."

"Uh huh." Husband then grabs my computer and starts googling YouTube videos on how to embroider.

After I chase him off, yelling that I know how to use google at least, I then retire to write this post. Feel like Bridget Jones when she tried to have a dinner party but ended up making blue string soup.