Follow-up to Awesome Sauce Office Software Training (and maybe some serious commentary on education,

For those of you who were curious about how the actual software that we had training on (now that said software actually "exists") I will provide this follow-up post. Since I don't like being sued, I won't name the software, only give the following reviews:

1) They have created a platform that is (on some days, when I'm very frustrated) even worse than Oracle. Caveat: Oracle still stands at the apex of F***Yo

u, User-dom, but since I only have to use Oracle if I want to see my employee records (or, more accurately, if I want to click dead-end links that never actually lead to my actual documents, inevitably leading to an email war with HR, after which, a month later, I will receive a paper copy of said document in my office mailbox) my frustration level with this new program, which I have to use daily for almost every aspect of my job, is much higher.

2) The site in no way resembles a shopping mall, though it would if the shopping mall directory had each shop floating in space and never explained how you could get from one shop to the next, and if it was impossible to discern how any component of the shopping mall related in space-time to another, from looking at the visual aid. Also, I have not heard any links referred to as "charms." That might be because customer support has stopped taking our calls.

3) They are still building the site, so some functionality doesn't currently exist. However, my boss hasn't gotten the memo. The entire year has been characterized by this sort of thing:

STAFF MEETING: By next week, you are expected to have put A, B, and C data into five different spreadsheets that say the same thing but in slightly different ways so you can't copy and paste. Also, a hand-written paper copy that ultimately no one will collect. It will only take you 15 minutes.

ME AT FIRST MEETING: "You do know that it's impossible to get that data from the site, right? That functionality doesn't exist, so I calculated the numbers you wanted by hand and it took 3 hours to do three. For example, you wanted the average score of every kid labeled as Economically Disadvantages, so I went to a different website, checked off every student on my roster with that code, then went into your magic software that you claim produces these numbers (the old software did) and added up all the scores of the kids I flagged and then calculated the average. I've had to work every weekend since August in addition to 12 hour days because you took away the old program that works but added additional paperwork requirements. Three people have already had meltdowns. Can you cut us some slack?

2 DISCIPLINARY EMAILS AND MEETINGS LATER FOR BEING A NEGATIVE NELLY IN A MEETING...

STAFF MEETING: By next week, you are expected to have put A, B, and C data into five different spreadsheets that say the same thing but in slightly different ways so you can't copy and paste. Also, a hand-written paper copy that ultimately no one will collect. If you do not comply, you will receive an "Omission of Opportunity" letter in your file. We caught people copying and pasting last time. Make sure you write something different for each of your 150 students for each week.

ME: *crickets

SOMEONE ELSE: *public meltdown (this is a different person every meeting, but there hasn't been a meeting without at least one)

ME AFTER STAFF MEETING: "Calculating" demographic averages...Let's go with 62%...it looks like it's about in the middle.

***BTW don't worry, I'm not designing a bridge or anything. The numbers they want are average student grades by demographic, standard, gender, economic status, race...They seem to think if teachers don't crunch these numbers, we won't know where our students' weak spots are or how to improve them. However, I'll let you in on a little secret: teachers love their kids; they know their names, weak spots, voice, behavioral tics, meltdown triggers, and handwriting because even at 16 they're always forgetting to write their name. The data helps, and every few weeks I take an in-depth look at each student's work and design instruction accordingly, but this paperwork BS is not for teachers to teach better; it's so the school can justify its existence and funding to the state.